When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
