I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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