I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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