Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
