I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
