Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
