You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
