Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I will be naked everywhere
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
