you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
