dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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