I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Randomize
