If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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