When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
That accounts for only three of the penises
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
