I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
