I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
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