Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she smelled like a LAN party
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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