Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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