where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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