i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
