Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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