I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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