I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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