I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
