How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
