Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
