I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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