I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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