He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I have demons in me.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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