I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
