Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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