I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
