I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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