This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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