She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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