Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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