Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
