part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
