tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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