Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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