Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
