Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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