So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
