let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
