So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
