I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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