I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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