he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My vagina is officially offended.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
