she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
