Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
