and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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