Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
